The 7 Things that Define My Essence
1. I am always excessively courteous when ordering at the drive-through because I need to be sure that the minimum-wage employees who are slaving over my food are in a good mood.2. I was recently told by my boss that I was failing to see the company’s strategic vision. In my own defense, I didn’t think we had one.
3. My wife is pregnant with our first child, and while I have nothing against a vaginal delivery, I suspect that it would have been a lot easier for all parties involved if she had simply laid an egg.
4. I don’t have a clear explanation as to why my friends’ Facebook status updates are starting to annoy me so much, although I am inclined to believe that I am not the problem.
5. I still don’t know just what it is that Meatloaf won’t do for love. Anal, perhaps? Dunno.
6. I absolutely refuse to use the word ‘meme’, and I am always quick to call bullshit on people that do. I also refuse to refer to Twitter status updates as ‘tweets’, because that is just stupid.
7. I am not a member of any Tumblr group. I have never been invited. Whenever one of my posts gets reblogged in a private group, I am saddened by the fact that I’ll never get to see it again.
